Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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