Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
