i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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