he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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