Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
