bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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