i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
