everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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