yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
