i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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