Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
