In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
