Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
as a side note pls kill me
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
