9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
