Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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