addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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