I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize