i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
