Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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