Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
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All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
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The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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