Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
