So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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