cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
