They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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