drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
