I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
