Operation Purity has been aborted
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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