Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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