Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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