Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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