very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
