It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
