This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
