I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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