I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
