did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
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Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Found the puke drawer
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
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what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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