Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize