my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
