Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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