Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
