i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize