do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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