Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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