haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
