try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize