it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
