new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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