there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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