i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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