Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
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We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
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I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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