So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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