where am i from again
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
