so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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