I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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