Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize