Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
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he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
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Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
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