if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
