He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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