thus making me awesome and them whores
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
