i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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